Saturday 11/26/2005 11:57:00 PM

It's just life. Anyone can make it. Or destroy it. It's ours to manipulate. It doesn't belong to some god that never shows itself. It belongs to us. Every molecule. Every dreary moment. Is ours. To live with. Or die trying.

Every day people reproduce. People who probably shouldn't. It's no miracle. It's just a lack of birth control and distorted principles.

Being born isn't enough. Life isn't an excuse to live.

There has to be a better reason.

Or if there isn't. Then I was right all along.

It's just life. Anyone can make it. No gods required. Just sex and ignorance.

And then you're born and they all want you to live.

They created your life, but they still can't give you a reason to keep it.

Because they're not gods. Just people. Same as anyone is.

People are the ones who create life. And people are the ones who destroy it.

I'd sawe myself if I could.

Anonymous said...

I've watched you scatter your breadcrumbs for a couple of weeks now. Had google-searched a poem about the moon and it threw me yours "He talks like the moon and moves like the ocean".Google threw me many poems, but I liked yours so very much. I hope you don't mind if I try to paint those two lines......I am an artist. I read your honesty and soak up the poems. You write with such clarity....everything. You never deviate, you just say it. I'm walking beside you, watching, reading, caring. That's all.

Anonymous said...

grandiose of you to think you know who should be creating life...smacks of fascism and discrimination...acceptance is the only route to peace of mind and freedom of your is what you make it, it's not made for're about as happy as you make up your mind to keep presenting the problems with life, spinning such complicated, convoluted webs, why don't you focus on the solution--rather than sit in the problem? Huh?

Anonymous said...

she will focus on the solution when she is ready, and only in her time can she focus on the solution if that is what her soul wants to do.

i am very guilty of depending on my alcoholic boyfreind for my happiness. it is a roller coaster ride, but i am really alone on it. i just can't seem to say goodbye yet...the friends and the bottle are way more important than i can ever be. i am an afterthought, and it disgusts me to sit like a good dog and hope for a crumb. guess i can make the break in my own time, as well. here is hoping we both get tired enough of this to make our moves. best wishes...

Anonymous said...

What a very interesting blog. I want to thank you for shraring parts of your life with others. I am the product of an alcoholic and by reading some of your entries I can actually see a glimpse of what my mother saw. Sorry to say, she passed just a few months ago.

I wish you the best!

Anonymous said...

artiste: go for it. and good luck.

anonymous 1: i never said i knew who should create life. simply proposed that maybe not everyone who does ought to.

don't you think you're oversimplifying life when you say you're as happy as you make up your mind to be? would you then propose that a parapalegic could walk if only they made up their mind to? not all afllictions are so obvious, especially those of the mind, but they are just as real.

nevertheless, thank you for your input and offering a contradictory perspective.

anonymous 2: thanx for chiming in on my behalf. best of luck with your situation. i was once stuck in a smiliar situation. everyone has their own unique turning point. eventually you'll come to yours.

aurelia: thanx for the comments and my sympathies for your loss.

Anonymous said...

re: your parapalegic comparison is simplistic...barring a condition or disease that is beyond your control, you can change yourself if you want to. Attitudes are not a result of mental illness. You can change your attitude. If you are mentally ill, you cannot change yourself but you can DECIDE to get outside help. I hear a whole lot of self pitying all thw while you claim you don't want to be the center of attention. If not, then why continue this blog. Alcoholics are self centered by nature which is diguised as victimhood, vainglory, pride, self pity. The solution is deflating the ego by working the 12 steps. "All the while I go about pitying myself, great winds carry me across the sky..." Native American origin

softermaniac said...

look i don't want to have an argument with a complete stranger. if you don't like what i have here then don't come here.

it's just an exercise in writing and emotional release. they say write what you know. well, right now, this is what i know.

true, i could change much about my life, including my attitude. for the time being, i choose not to.

Anonymous said...

best wishes to you...ciao...godspeed

Anonymous said...

Hope you don't mind my 2 cents here.

Anonymous, she uses this channel for writing. If you bothered really to read anything about her you would know that she writes simply because.

So, her writing is theraputic for her and also for some of us who find some solace in knowing someone out there feels alot like us. We are not alone.

Wether or not she is ready to do anything to change her life isn't anyone elses business but her own. So, if you are going to frequent this little corner of the web, why don't you stop trying to therapize her and just enjoy the brilliance of her writing, be it because of or inspite of her human flaws. If not, then you can take your "great wind" and blow on out of here.

Anonymous said...

how do I join the mutual admiration society?

softermaniac said...

"how do I join the mutual admiration society?"

is that sarcasm? it's hard to tell via computer screen.

please elaborate.

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