Monday 7/17/2006 12:15:00 AM

Don't try so hard.

That cigarette will easily smoke itself. The phone will wait for you to answer it.

We finished our drinks. The vodka mine. The scotch his. The bartender snatched the twenty from under the tumbler. And we were free to leave. It was my turn to pay. I tried to, but he wouldn't let me. They're so generous until.

Don't tell. Ask.

Or pretend to want to know for the time being.

The thoughts sleeted in my head. Covering every thought in a layer of ice and discomfort. As if it'd never happened before. This curiosity. Lives hopelessly trying to live.

All the while I was imagining our skin mingling. Mixing into colors we'd never seen before. All the while I was waiting for him to measure the steps. Give me a number to wait on. A distance I could calculate.

It's not like we were really there. Like anything had happened.

We were just flaunting our binoculars.

Seeing how close forever could appear.

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