Functional Alcoholic

The term used is functional alcoholic. One who drinks excessively, but not so much that it impedes their work or other required daily functions. The functional drunk waits patiently or impatiently, as the case may be, for responsibility to tuck itself in for the night and only then does the abuse begin.

Back when I used to talk with stereo boy, he said that to me for the first time. We're functional drunks. And even though I'd never heard the term before I immediately knew what it meant.

I'd just finished recanting my tale of the previous night. I'd drunk about a six pack and it was still early in my training. So I'd puked it all back up. Spent a hefty portion of the late evening with my face in the bowl.

Eventually I went to bed. As soon as my stomach stopped trying secede from my abdomen. The alarm went off and its usually time and I woke up, drank my coffee and did my job.

And as soon as I'd finished speaking the last sentence of my story he chuckled a wine derivative giggle and said yea, we're functional drunks. As contented as he was amused.

He'd been living that way much longer than I had. And even though I was there at the starting line of the race he was almost finished running, it never occurred to me then how much wisdom there was in his statement. Or worse yet, how right he was.