Wednesday 10/26/2005 11:13:00 PM

The term used is functional alcoholic. One who drinks excessively, but not so much that it impedes their work or other required daily functions. The functional drunk waits patiently or impatiently, as the case may be, for responsibility to tuck itself in for the night and only then does the abuse begin.

Back when I used to talk with stereo boy, he said that to me for the first time. We're functional drunks. And even though I'd never heard the term before I immediately knew what it meant.

I'd just finished recanting my tale of the previous night. I'd drunk about a six pack and it was still early in my training. So I'd puked it all back up. Spent a hefty portion of the late evening with my face in the bowl.

Eventually I went to bed. As soon as my stomach stopped trying secede from my abdomen. The alarm went off and its usually time and I woke up, drank my coffee and did my job.

And as soon as I'd finished speaking the last sentence of my story he chuckled a wine derivative giggle and said yea, we're functional drunks. As contented as he was amused.

He'd been living that way much longer than I had. And even though I was there at the starting line of the race he was almost finished running, it never occurred to me then how much wisdom there was in his statement. Or worse yet, how right he was.

Anonymous said...

I am actually trying to get over being a functional alcoholic. Actually, as I write this I have been drinking. I drink more nights than not and it is having an effect on my health, and I'm only 26. Anyone who laughs at the term "functional alcoholic" needs to realize that those who are saying it, probably have a problem. I look at it as a transitional period between social drinker and alcoholic. Thanks for telling your story. Maybe some day I'll tell mine.

Anonymous said...

What's the difference between a "functional alcoholic" and a "drinker"?

Anonymous said...

my functional alchoholic just violently abused me in front of our son two nights ago. he is now realizing that he has ruined his life and lost his family, i cant find any truth in the work functional now because it can happen to any one at any time dont think you could never do it my husband and i were in love and happily married for twelve years get help

Anonymous said...

You drank about a six pack?

You need to look the word "Alcoholic"

up again, because apparently you have

no clue what the word means,

much less

The term: Functional Alcoholic.

Anonymous said...

My dad was a functional alcoholic for years when I was growing up. He was sober and fit when he went to work. When he came home every night, he would eat his supper and then go to his den and drink till he passed out. It made my family isolated for fear of shame or fear that his employer would find out and fire him. My mom would cry herself to sleep many nights. My brothers and sister and I grew up effected: not able to trust very easily, not feeling at home anywhere, lousy judgement, and often dating people who were screwed up with addictions. I'm not blaming my dad for my own mistakes, but his drinking and the isolation and the weirndess it caused did shape us his kids for the worse growing up. It also made my dad waste a lot of time and a lot of life and and a lot of love for almost 20 years. If you're a functional achoholic, that means you're an alcholic and you're just as much in danger of p#ssing your life away. Please stop and get help now.

Anonymous said...

I am a pretty much functional alcoholic. right now I'm just about sh!tfaced. Tomorrow, I'll be driving to Gosford, where I'll spend the day working at a very technical job. At the end of the day, having shut down a A$2 million dollar video screen, On the way home, I'll pick up a 2 litre 'cask' and, well, who knows? The keys to my WRX go on the bookshelf and I then proceed to post my inebriated comments on tha intarweb

Anonymous said...

I have been in the army for 5 years. i have been overseas but have no crazy war stories or sad tales. i drink every night i can until i pass out.ive been told i easily put down 16 beers a night. it took me almost getting a dui the other night to open my the grace of god he just let me go.really made me think and yet there i went the next night.back out and slammed them again. i never considered myself an alcoholic cuz im damn good at my this really a problem?

ap said...

it sounds like you're well on your way to having a problem. if you tone it down now you can probably avoid it though.

good luck.

| Alcoholic Poet Home |
Copyright 2005-2018. All Rights Reserved.