Saturday 10/21/2006 01:13:00 AM

It was a pretty ugly silence. The depth of his grin flapping. Wings that wouldn't leave the ground. I waited for his approval. To see if he'd let me leave.

Much to my disappointment he had no objections. The bunt was fair. The pitcher tried to cover first, but the runner was faster than the ball.

It was too accomodating. How those skins let us wear them. I wanted to know what was wrong. And I wanted to forget.

Lions purring too full. Cubs everywhere. Imaging the kill.

Like we're alive.

Not the dead in their eyes when they look at me.

I tried to tell him I'd never learn, but he didn't believe me.

It's not like there are stairs for where we were going. Or masks convenient enough to wear. There's only the fall. How many cushions are left in those pins.

Concrete lips struggling to show jagged teeth. Like we matter now. Or ever did. To walls that never asnwer. Eyes that don't blink.

It's not like I knew him. Fragile anchor under my bow. It's just that I knew what he meant.

Cold eyes try to decipher what can't be written.

I'm ready.

Ready to lose him again.

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