Tuesday 10/03/2006 12:16:00 AM

There's no now. Just then. Pale rocks with missing fingers. Pointing at what's already gone.

It's easy. Saving myself. I do it every night. Letter by letter. As the poison synthetizes in my blood. Changes my past and my future. Negating the girl I once was in favor of the woman I've become.

Sympathy. Danger. Loser. Savior. Stairway to heaven's back door. Pieces of a puzzle not ready to be solved.

His voice was magnanimous as it boiled over with disappointment. At my lack of desire to recover.

He said it was my own fault.

That it didn't change.

I suppose it was.

Just like it's the blind man's fault that he can't see where he's going.

He said it was my fault.

I still believe him sometimes.

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