Friday 7/07/2006 10:56:00 PM

We watched some porn for a while before creating our own. It was fine. Like slipping a dollar into one of those machines and getting back four quarters. We'd broken even.

Again.

I'm not a gambler. It's never appealed to me. But I like the aspect of risk. Especially when it's something I'm prepared to lose. Like love.

I've never believed in the concept that once it's given it's ours to keep. Which is why I've never like it that much. The love they give to us is theirs. To distribute or withhold in any way they see fit.

The sheets were cold from the air conditioning. And I was terminally unable to find the volume setting on the amplifier loud enough to block out the world and still low enough for us to hear each other.

We'd been in his car only minutes earlier. Noticing how the headlights stroked the neighbors window. Some malignant massage raping his tv while we pondered another walk up the stairs. To change our dollar bills.

He seemed to say I was inaccessible as he fiddled with the buttons on the cd player. I'd always thought it, but now I had evidence. I wanted to blame him. I knew some of it was his fault, but then I remembered how sure I'd been about everything up until

It couldn't have mattered more. Couldn't have mattered less. To have you there pretending to want me as the truth broke those rubberbands on the backs of our masks.

1 comments:
vendella von messershmitt said...

"To have you there pretending to want me as the truth broke those rubberbands on the backs of our masks."


You just blow me away.


On another note...you don't risk, you don't try, you let them come to you because, paradoxically, it is one of the only ways you can feel the control you do not have.
It's all illusion anyway. Why not play?



| Alcoholic Poet Home |
Copyright 2005-2016. All Rights Reserved.