Monday 4/24/2006 10:52:00 PM

Look at me feeling the pain of others again. In my sleep. In my dismal revelry. In every petulant moment I allow to invade my skin.

Trafficking in the empty every life is forced to buy and sell. I am a commodity. Everyone is. They bid and I sell myself.

This tapestry of lost ones is what keeps me warm at night. In their bondage. Be it imposed by self or others. In their grief I become them. Seeing how we are the same. Finding how I knew them even as they wouldn't let me in.

But they bleed where my scabs were long ago cemented. They dream the nightmares I've long ago dismissed.

They once seemed so beautiful. But it's all ugly now. The kind of ugly that reaches deep beneath the flesh.

Pain is only a plaything. Red yarn teasing my claws. Loneliness only a slow mouse. Too easy for this cat to catch.

Let it run. Let it nibble. I'm no longer interested.

Let them hurt. For all the reasons they deem fit. Let them hurt like I did then. Healing my only revenge.

The shadows through the gauze are all I remember. Blurry lies slowly coming into focus.

And now that I have the chance to be your salvation, I'd rather just watch you try to save yourself.

First, do no harm.

Second, remember, what they've done to you.

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