Thursday 3/09/2006 09:28:00 PM

There were always lights. Crowded together in the darkness. Gasping for breath as the shadows would multiply to infinite measures.

There is always truth. In every thought. Only sometimes it is silent. Small pebbles which once were a mighty boulder. Now just dust between my toes.

Candy-coated demons melt in your mouth not in your hands.

Third person conversations with myself and I'm not on her side.

There always will be time to think. To write. To drink. But there never has been. Probably won't ever be a reason for any of them.

Even though I'm not driving anymore, I still keep checking the mirrors. Looking for the brake.

I know.

Always have.

Who I am.

There was never anything to explore. No journey to make. No backpack to reach into when change was needed. Just thinning shoulder straps and sealed zippers. Carrying nothing. Going nowhere.

They always knew I'd never change. Couldn't even if I wanted to. But that I'd give in. Crimp the veins until the blood had to go the other way.

I always knew this is who I'd be.

Highlighter on an empty page.


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