Saturday 2/18/2006 11:10:00 PM

The irony is I was nothing, but nice to him. I wanted to care. Ignoring every instinct that told me not to.

We used to say things will change. So let's try to be ourselves for as long as we can.

Stupid shit like that meant to stave off the onset of reality. But it had always been there. Waiting.

I guess you can't befriend someone unless you're willing to be what they want. And we always tend to want more than any person can hope to be. Especially after we've been so much together. We can take down the bridges, but we can't move the water.

It wasn't what I needed, but I thought I'd give it a try. I think we asked too much. Chipping at that boulder with our tiny axes. We want to be bigger. But sometimes we can't.

I tried to be, but I'm not.

You said I was, but I knew I wasn't.

The reason.

I tried to be.

We were always close enough. If that is any measure of.

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