Monday 12/26/2005 11:45:00 PM

It's gone and I never even saw it leave. It must've been. Or else how could I feel its loss. Like day turns to night sereptitiously. So quietly those fingers become a fist.

My shoulder is this chasm. Choking on all the words that drop. My tears are fallen. Not caught.

It left, though I never felt its entry. It's exit was acute. A triangle of nights that all pointed at. So many circles without their degrees.

It's gone like so many things that people claim. Fast talking hearts and amiable salespeople. A discount at a time they measure and negate.

How hard would it be to love me? How difficult could it be? To look at this broken staircase and place your foot upon it. Feel the climb it wishes to give.

How useless am I. Worthless as I've ever been. That even in your most desperate hour still you chose not to come to me.

Must it be? That everything that we share keeps us apart. That love adheres to such strict boundaries.

Where am I now? Nowhere. Always.

Broken or together. Still you see the same pieces. And you want none of them.

It's gone, but I still hope for its return. It's a collage. But that one picture is all I see.

Color me in with your heart's crayon. Don't leave these outlines to wonder if.

Anonymous said...

Dear aloholic poet,
What is the deal with heterosexual women wanting a dick so bad? I really don't understand. I am dick-free an want an explanation. What is so exciting about them, such ugly anatomy, such inability to become anything.
I mean, if you ever made love to a woman, a pussy, you'd know what I'm talking about. Only women know how to enjoy sex, in the absence of dicks of course they act.
Weenies are so ugly, why are you interested in them?

softermaniac said...

nice comment. funny.

for me it has nothing to do with anatomy. and everything to do with feeling.

you're right. penis is pretty ugly. but pussy ain't that attractive either.

people. they all suck regardless of their parts.

Anonymous said...

I guess you're right that pussy is ugly too. It is, true.
But then, why are we so interested in getting any feelings from such ugly things, pusy, dick, human beings?
Why can't we experience pleasure in beautiful things such as nice architecture, nature, animals, nature, a beautiful chille glass of white wine?
I mean, why do we aways seek salvation in sexuality i.e sexual organs and humans if they are (and we know they are) so ugly?
I don't know. I was always obsessed with the genitals since I was a kid trying to come up with a meaning about them, and I never succeeded.
So, if sex is really meaningless, why do we seek it? Why are we so interested in engaging with others' genitals if they're so ugly to begin with? Especially since they also serve as urinating organs?
What's wrong with us?

Anonymous said...

We are wired this way...hierarchy of needs and such. I think we are driven to be connected to others. Sex equals connection. I do not know. I yearn for my ex's love and touch, but all it did was bring pain. Go figure. Happy New Year to all...

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