Rifts

Sometimes you have someone you genuinely care about and maybe they even in their own selfish way care about you, but they always end up hurting you. Some might say hurt is a part of closeness and love. But they'd be young or desperate or both.

Hurt is a part of love only in the way that it shows you what love is either dying or bound to soon.

Not just romance love either. Mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters. Too much hurt and what's the point. You're just staving off the inevitable.

I once knew a guy. He was a sensitive sort. It was easy to accidentally hurt his feelings. Maybe, that's just all guys. And they don't like anyone to know.

He had so much going for him and so much potential for happiness. But I don't think he ever found it. I don't think he ever even tried.

We had a lot in common that way. I'd rather just keep the status quo than risk anything on someone else.

I spent more than five years trying to get to know him and barely ever did. I still don't know how he felt about me or why we were ever friends.

It may have started out as sex thing, but that didn't last long. The conversations far outlasted the physical pleasure. So while I'd like to just check him off as another asshole who wanted an easy lay, it doesn't make sense.

Sometimes I want to talk to him again just to see what he'd say. Just to see if anything at all in his life has changed. I hope it has. For the better. But in my gut I know, it's the same old same old for the both of us. Neither of us are getting any better. The more time that passes we're only getting worse.

I can't honestly say we would've been happy together, but I can say we might've been less unhappy than we are alone.