No Outlet

Do you think alcoholics get to have friends? Maybe some, but then they probably lose them. You'd think they could be friends with eachother. But such is not my experience. Must be all those secret reasons that cause one to drink that much in the first place that interfere with the ability to interact and maintain any kind of meaningful relationship.

One might get drunk and sometimes write an impromptu email and send it off without even considering. But any coward can write an email. Spill your guts to a blank screen and then click that button never having to look at or even hear the breathing of that person who's going to receive it. It's just like talking to yourself except that it tricks you into thinking you're not quite that alone.

And even if they read it, you never have to see or hear their reaction. It may as well have been sent to no one. For all you know it was.

At some point it gets to where you can't talk to anyone except yourself. You started because it opened those valves that were stuck. But now there aren't even valves anymore. Just a lot of dead ends.