Friday 11/18/2005 11:55:00 PM

Love and alcohol aren't so very different. Both are addictive. And dangerous. In the beginning they draw you in with bright bursts of joy that careen through your body like mental orgasms. But after a little while it always changes. You find yourself no longer wanting to want them, but unable to stop.

That lonely past looms in your forethoughts as you wonder to yourself, even if I could let it go, what then. What else is there? And you answer yourself. Nothing.

If I feel this way now, how much worse will I feel without it?

But there's a funny thing I learned on my way down to the bottom. However empty your life is before you give in to whatever vice is available, it's no less empty during. It's just in the midst of we can't see clear enough to know nothing has changed except how much harder we're making it for ourselves.

Love and alcohol they're really quite similar. Each holds us when we feel alone. Plays on our obvious weaknesses. Each takes more than it gives until there's nothing left of the person that they first met. And they both always force us to let go when it's the very last thing that we can stand to do.

I guess we can stay, but the longer we do, the more it becomes us. Until we're not alive at all anymore and that void we've been trying so hard to evade is all that's left.

Anonymous said...

brilliant...thanks for writing.

softermaniac said...

thank you for reading.

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