Sunday 11/20/2005 10:16:00 PM

Show people only your strength and they will feel threatened. Show people only your weakness and they will pity you. Show them some of both and they will know that just like them you're human. A soft cacophony of emotions. A raging whisper of duality. More alone sometimes in the presence of friends than of strangers. Because those who know me, whomever they are, know what I am. I don't want them to possess this knowledge. And if I could I'd wash it from their minds the same as I do from my own.

To know me is to pity me. And to feel threatened. Because both sides cannot show at the same time. I am bisected. Split right down the center every time someone comes near.

While alone I am whole.

And try as I may with this alcoholic adhesive to keep these two halves together in their presence, still it always loses its grip.

And I am pitied. Or I am a threat. But still I'm not human.

2 comments:
Does Eternity Never Appear said...

Wow. What powerful words.

"More alone sometimes in the presence of friends than strangers."

My Response: Sometimes I feel, sometimes I feel that within the presence of strangers, that they are my friends.

"While alone I am whole."

My response: Me too, and that scares me sometimes.

"But still I'm not human."

My response: Why do you say that? Do you really feel that you are not human?

alcoholic poet said...

thanx. not human is an analogy for being different. not being able to relate to other humans.

here's hoping you find something better than alone to make you feel whole.



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