Friday 2/29/2008 12:48:00 AM

Doorbells and cyanide. In that order. No one's home. No one has been for so long. Laughing too confident. Fatted martyrs feast on each other. Chapped lips arguing with the mirror. As if it actually sees their their thirst.

Cold sheep bleating in a dark barnyard.. Hoping to be naked again soon.

Piss and peppermint. All he could swallow. Or spit up. As the case demanded. I couldn't find a lie. Only the suspicion. Filthy flags groping at a democracy that will forever remain a virgin.

Change always comes too late. After we don't need it. A future begging us to let it happen.

But the choice. That is what I miss most about having decided.

No diabetic sex to blame for the coma. No cells to accuse of treason. Sex turns its parlor tricks for the wide eyed, but we are not misled.

Never sleep. Never dream. Never wake up.

Indebted only to small lies told in moments of surrender. Small lies that keep getting bigger.

-H said...

Something tells me I should've come here earlier. Read you earlier. I hope it isn't too late already. Your work is moving.


softermaniac said...

yea, i'm probably gonna be dead soon. but we'll always have the archives.


-H said...

Like Richard Siken says so beautifully: 'We are all going forward. None of us are going back'.

It isn't about the archive, it is about what is still unwritten. I hope you continue to write.


softermaniac said...

i will.

have to.

don't get a choice.

Craftsman of light said...

Your words are so medicalised..between diabetic comas; prozac laughs -- psychotrophic facelifts, insulined lines. Are they notions of the biography??
i feel they have a greater therapeutic notion through your words - their side effects are mind provoking...especially when they come out of the stacking past.
Anyway, has the wild cat come out of her cage goes back later forgetful of the open door.A door that has opened since so long but engrossed in ones own slavery the ideas of freedom has been long erased from the prespectives??
Do you get me.
Hope i'm don't seem pushy with my comments...they might look provocative. But at the same time if they are there is because they wish to relate to you somehow.
Thanks for your writings!
See ya!

softermaniac said...

i get what you're saying. i'm free to leave. i keep myself captive. nothing else.

yes. i am aware. and have heard that one before.

there's just nothing i want 'out there'.

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